“A New Day” by Robby Seay Band

This one’s for my mama, Jan, or Granny Janny, as we’ve called her in recent years.

Four years ago, we found out she had colon cancer. We were crushed. It was 10 months after I had moved three hours away from her. We made many trips back and forth to be with her and my dad as she underwent major surgery and then, chemotherapy. It is so terribly difficult to watch anyone battle through a disease so demanding, but there aren’t words to describe what it’s like to watch it happen to your mother.  There is so much I could write about those times, so many important things we learned and ironically, so many hilarious things she said (mostly while recovering in the hospital). There are so many ways we all learned to love each other better and more deeply. But those are details for another post…

She was incredibly brave and all heart, she fought with a faith that never complained (at least not to me), and now, she is cancer-free and enjoying life. She writes poetry and loves her grandsons and listens to music everyday. We are extremely grateful to God for the excellent care she received from her doctors and our family, especially my dad. We are extremely grateful to God for how he so carefully orchestrated the events and, most importantly, the people surrounding her healing.

This is a song she introduced me to during that time, and it made me feel like we were together even though we weren’t and that things were going to be just fine, even though they weren’t.

Mom, you’re my hero. I’m so proud of you and so very happy it’s four years later! Je’taime.

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“Even the Winter” by Audrey Assad

It would be so easy to quit

When times get tough or your day is fine, but you’re just plain tired…

It’s so much easier to just lay down and FORGET.

Forget to sing yet neglect to notice how beautiful the silence can be…

But it’s so much harder to forget the hurt that comes when your heart realizes that the noise you think it might be is not actually noise at all… and you really miss the song.

It would be so easy to stay

Warm within these four walls and those four corners (although the springs are literally caving beneath us now)…

It’s so much easier to lay down and just GIVE UP,

Give up the movie in your mind, reel by reel, of every nuisance and every mercy in your day.

But it’s quite impossible to give up every JOY these mercies (and even nuisances) become

When you simply quit running away

And stay.

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Hasta la Raiz~ Natalia LaFourcade

Don’t look back.

The past is in the past.

All you have is right now.

Yes. This is meant to encourage forward movement. This is meant to encourage more abundant life. I’m all about that.

BUT.

Sometimes, you just need to dig something up, dust it off, and buff it to a shine so that you can see how far you’ve come.

It’s a risk. There could be tears.

But I think, sometimes, it’s a risk worth taking.

This is a song by an artist I LOVE in a language I LOVE.

The video creeps me out, but I secretly LOVE that, too.

For me, there’s just nothing like the feeling of the weight of the words mixed with the strength of the sound, lifted and carried out on a deep, steady breath.

It all gives me the courage to look back and celebrate no matter how it used to look to me.

 


Sigo cruzando ríos,
Andando selvas,
Amando el sol
Cada día sigo sacando espinas
De lo profundo del corazón
En la noche sigo encendiendo sueños
Para limpiar con el humo sagrado cada recuerdo

Cuando escribo tu nombre
En la arena blanca con fondo azul
Cuando miro el cielo en la forma cruel de una nube gris
Aparezcas tú
Una tarde suba una alta loma
Mire el pasado
Sabrás que no te he olvidado

Yo te llevo dentro, hasta la raíz
Y, por más que crezca, vas a estar aquí
Aunque yo me oculte tras la montaña
Y encuentre un campo lleno de caña
No habrá manera, mi rayo de luna
Que tú te vayas

Pienso que cada instante sobrevivido al caminar
Y cada segundo de incertidumbre
Cada momento de no saber
Son la clave exacta de este tejido
Que ando cargando bajo la piel
Así te protejo
Aquí sigues dentro

Yo te llevo dentro, hasta la raíz
Y, por más que crezca, vas a estar aquí
Aunque yo me oculte tras la montaña
Y encuentre un campo lleno de caña
No habrá manera, mi rayo de luna
Que tú te vayas


I keep crossing rivers,
Walking through forests,
Loving the sun
Every day I keep pulling thorns
From the depths of my heart
At night I keep igniting dreams
To clean every memory with sacred smoke

When I write your name
In the white sand with a blue background
When I look at the sky, in the cruel form of a grey cloud,
You appear
One evening, climb a high hill
Look at the past
You will know that I have not forgotten

I carry you inside me, to the root
And, that you may grow better, you will be here
Although I hide myself behind the mountain
And find a field full of sugar cane
There will be no way, my moonbeam,
For you to leave

I think that every instant survived while walking
And every second of uncertainty
Every moment of not knowing
Are the exact key to this tissue
That I always carry under my skin
In this way I protect you
Here, follow me inside

I carry you inside me, to the root
And, that you may grow better, you will be here
Although I hide myself behind the mountain
And find a field full of sugar cane
There will be no way, my moonbeam,
For you to leave