I tell you, it’s never the boy that keeps me awake at night.
Every person who told me I would never sleep again…they weren’t totally right.
He is almost never the problem.
When he is, yes, it’s horribly annoying and irritating. Because then, I’m actually exhausted and ready for sleep. However, I can count the instances on one hand in the past six months of his life when he was actually the cause of my sleeplessness.
Tonight, it’s me. It’s my brain, my heart, and their struggle with some fear or restlessness that holds my delicious sleep ransom. It will cost me the morning at work. I care very little about this. I just want to sleep…
Instead, I turn side to side, swimming laps beneath the covers, all the music of the day swimming around with me, the notes peacefully disturbing, a perfect haunt. There is always a melody and a message singing in my head. Right now, it’s about bravery.