“Do You Sleep?” by Lisa Loeb

TIRED. SO, SO TIRED.

And I got 6-7 hours of decent sleep last night!

I still fell asleep on the sofa by 6pm after school.

I am very blessed. Many new mamas don’t have the “luxury” of healthy sleep. Or a job. Or wonderful support at home. OR…. A sweetheart dream of a son. I mean that. He has his moments, but he is a DREAM. It would take me way too long to count all my blessings. If I tried, I would surely sleep longer.

And yet, there are still things I find to complain about, still things that make me toss and turn.

I am still exhausted by my life and all the activity in the day. So exhausted, that sleep is impossible.

I wish I could just….. STOP. For an hour. For a half hour.

And breathe in his sweet baby smell, deeply inhale it and save it in my lungs forever and ever.

And really, really taste this red wine and how perfectly it is paired with this chocolate that is dark and sweet and tastes like a gift.

Wait. I’m doing those things. Not at the same time, of course 😉

But I’m doing those things. So, what is my problem?

Praise God!

And, while these things are satisfying, yet they disappoint me. Because of the many long, arduous hours in the day when I’m not doing those things. When I’m running from here to there like a crazy lady, teaching and running and pumping and teaching and washing my hands and answering questions and putting out fires and never sitting and never resting and never breathing deeply, all in the name of what is ‘best’ for kids.

Killing myself is not what is best for kids. Killing myself is not what is best for anybody.

I am a wife. I am a mother. I am a teacher. I am NOT a martyr.

So why am I SO, SO, SO TIRED?

Soul tired.

We have to take care of our souls.

I have to take care of my soul.

Oh, soul….. I’m sorry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today’s Voice

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-Ca62l_X8M

Do you eat, sleep, do you breathe me anymore?
Do you sleep, do you count sheep anymore?
Do you sleep anymore?
Do you take plight on my tongue like lead?
Do you fall gracefully into bed anymore?

I saw you as you walked across my room
You looked out the window, you looked at the moon
And you sat on the corner of my bed
And you smoked with the ghost in the back of my head

Now I don’t know, and I don’t care if I ever will see you again
I don’t know and I don’t care if I ever will be there

Do you eat, sleep, do you breathe me anymore?
Do you sleep, do you keep me anymore? Do you sleep anymore?

You kick my foot under the table, I kick you back
I can’t say I’m able to stand for you or fall for you ever again
Wish for a perfect setting
Wishing that I am letting you take me where you want me all over again?
You can’t give yourself, absolutely to someone else

And I don’t know, and I don’t care if I ever will see you again
I don’t know, and I don’t care if I ever will be there

I saw you as you walked across my room
You looked out the window, you looked at the moon
And you sat on the corner of my bed
And you smoked with the ghost in the back of my head

Do you eat, sleep, do you breathe me anymore?
Do you sleep, do you count sheep anymore?
Do you sleep anymore?

I don’t know, and I don’t care if I ever will be there
Will be there

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